We did our bridal registry recently (I guess there’s no way we could get away with calling it ‘Groomal’ registry). I scanned the bulk of electronics and silly items on the chance that someone would buy this stuff, which would be amazing if they did. Every day I would wake up, pour myself a fresh margarita, relax on my vibrating armchair, and feed myself State of Texas Waffles while I bask in the glow of a Televison I absolutely don’t have the room for.